Where the Wind Comes Sweeping Down the Plain

April 13th

Remember my last post when I was whinging about the wind in Texas and how it made it difficult to sleep? As we turned North and drove into Oklahoma we encountered a tornado. I think I’m right in saying it was my first tornado. California may be plagued by droughts, fires, earthquakes, fog, fad diets, and other consequences of living a homosexual lifestyle, but at least the Sierras block the wind coming from the East.

I’d been on the phone back and forth with a comic in Tulsa, hoping to put together a show. She was very kind but ultimately very unhelpful and ultimately ultimately it didn’t matter because the landlocked cyclone cut off the highway and we were forced to reroute through the rain to Lawton. I’d never heard of it either, but it was on the map and on the proper side of the puffed-up dust devil so we redirected.

We plodded through the downpour and listened to a preacher drawl about the end of days on a local radio station. Deciding a dry sleep would be worth the price we found the filthiest, fleabagiest motel they legally allow in The Sooner State and plopped our bags on carpet we hesitated to walk on with bare feet. Camen charged his many many batteries and Jori and I scoured Google maps for a dinner spot.

Embracing the spirit of adventure that had brought us this far we thought we’d see what Lawton, Oklahoma offered by way of Korean BBQ. Every city I’ve ever been in that has a Korean town has a lit karaoke scene and I guess this strip mall was Lawton’s K-Town because sure enough the Bulgolgi House had a machine set up in a tiny corner next to the counter where you order. I had been ready to accept the loss of venue and resolve myself to performing in nearly every state, but with a little goading from Camen and a belly full of bibimbap I went up the karaoke host and asked if he would mind if I did comedy. “Once the mic is in your hand you can do whatever you want”, he told me.

With that permission slip I racked my brains for a song that would last the five minutes I needed to pull of a comedy set. Naturally I opted for Phil Collins’ moody hit “In the Air Tonight”. I have a personal connection to the drummer from Genesis that I might go into some other time on this blog, but for now just know that my set was about as good as one can expect for a stand-up ambush in a nearly empty Korean BBQ restaurant where the sparse attendees are expecting karaoke. Also? It’s really hard to concentrate on a little rhyming story about your dad giving you an edible when there’s music to a song you know really well playing behind you. Jori was much smarter, she chose the alphabet song, which for some reason was a literal option.

With that, we checked another state off the list and Camen got something unique for the documentary that may eventually see the light of day (likely at my funeral) and we left feeling pretty OK.